A Late Night
by Arreku97
Summary: After Eren's premature death, Armin finds his estranged friend, Mikasa, in a somber status at his doorstep in the middle of the night. "I thought you were always crushing on Annie?" CONTINUED, Modern AU, Armin x Mikasa
1. 1

**_A Late Night_**

* * *

The last person I expect to see at my door in the middle of the night is Mikasa Ackerman.

It's not that I haven't missed her companionship, or that the temptation of ever contacting her was lost, but life is rarely ever simple. Days become weeks, weeks become months, months become years, and only upon certain days do you look back and realize that you are potentially missing the people you used to cherish the most. That, by focusing upon your own concerns and occupations, you may inadvertently lose them forever.

"Can I come in?" she asks.

I wipe some of the sleep from my eyes, but nod nevertheless. It's about three in the morning when she sits on the edge my couch, and I can't help but notice just how pale and gaunt she is. Mikasa was never tan or tawny, but this newfound paleness is not a characteristic of hers that I can recall.

"What's up?" I say with a croaky voice, sitting at the other end the couch.

"I'm sorry to wake you," she apologizes. "I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here at this hour."

I nod, wiping my eyes again.

"I'm really not trying to be a bother, I just couldn't sleep, and I wanted to talk to somebody."

Mikasa has always been proud, and while I can only guess the topic she is going to speak of, I'm not surprised to find that she still has issues speaking about _it_. She's the type of person to lose a limb and tell you that it's just a flesh wound.

"You're not, I promise," I give her a tired smile. I pause before asking, "Is it about Eren?"

Her breath seems to be sucked out of her, but she still gives a curt nod. While Eren and I used to be best friends, a friendship that began to disappear as we grew older, the bond between Eren and Mikasa was always exceptional. I remember how Eren would always give Mikasa a hard time for mothering him, but when she didn't, he would become anxious and combustible. He would ask me if I had seen Jean hanging around Mikasa (knowing full well of his romantic intent), and I would tell him that Jean has moved on to pursue other interests after Mikasa rejected him almost a dozen times. That still would not convince him.

"I've just been thinking about a lot of random, pointless things. I haven't been able to talk with anybody else about them, so they've been festering inside of me."

I wait for her to continue.

"Do you know how people were... _opposed_ to Eren and me?"

With a frown, I nod.

"Did you know Eren got really upset when I proposed to him?" she asks.

I stare at her in confusion. "Why?"

"He said that he was worried that our relationship could hurt me."

"In what way could it hurt you?"

"Eren was worried about doing something morally wrong and putting somebody else in a vulnerable position. When I proposed to him, he knew that there was a chance our relationship could become public, and I think he still felt uncomfortable with the idea that people might consider our relationship incestuous. We kept it a secret from Grisha and Carla at Eren's request."

She stares at her hands for a few moments. "When I told him that I told you, he got really upset."

"I remember," I softly interject. "When I was going to tell him I was happy for you two, he kind of blew up on me."

Though I purposefully left this tidbit out, Mikasa states, "It's why you two drifted apart."

"It's..." I hesitate, " _one_ of the reasons, but not _the_ reason."

"Are you angry at me for that?"

I blink. "For what?"

"For being a catalyst in you two falling out."

"You weren't," I assure her. "Things just happen like that, Mikasa. It's not your fault."

"But I've been thinking that if our relationship wasn't romantic, then maybe with the time we had, it wouldn't have all been so complicated," she murmurs. "All three of us could have been happy, even if Eren didn't have much longer left."

"Mikasa, he was happy with you," I assure her sleepily. "He wanted to have that type of relationship with you. Aren't you happy you experienced that with him?"

"I am, but I... I don't know."

Everything seems to be happening much too fast. I haven't seen Mikasa in two years, and to have her in my apartment unloading so much information upon me makes my head hurt with both astonishment and perplexity. When small talk isn't there to break the ice, you forget how much it helps a conversation flow smoothly, and how it helps your emotions catch up with your cognizance. I know that I am not dreaming, but I feel very lost.

Much to my dismay, I see a few tears leak from the corner of her eyes. Mikasa and I have never been particularly close, so I can't bring myself to comfort her in any physical way without it being uncomfortable. Being the tear ridden boy I was and still am as a man, I've put many other people in this position, but when the tables are turned, I always seem to panic and fluster.

"Hey, don't do that," I try awkwardly. "Mikasa, I really promise, _none_ of this was your fault." I pause, trying to use that brain everybody always praises me for. I don't know why they praise me so much for it considering it always short-wires whenever I need it the most. "When people are in love, their nervous emotion always seems to cloud their analytical wherewithal about how much they mean to their significant other. I know Eren was always stubborn, but the times I saw him most happy wasn't with _me_ , but it was with _you_. You should be happy for that, because for the time you could, you made him happy in a way nobody else could. I know he was worried about those moral qualms you noted, but believe me when I say that he was happy. The two of you just had a complex situation, and despite Eren not thinking similarly, I thought you guys handled it in the best possible way you could."

"Thanks," she wipes her eyes, allowing the brief digression of silence.

A pebble of guilt rattles around in my ribcage when I remember something I wish I didn't. Though I really want the conversation to slow down somewhat to process everything that is happening, what I'm about to say is only going to speed it up.

"I hope you know I'm sorry I didn't go to his funeral. I've felt horrible for that for years, now."

"You've already apologized, Armin, and I've told you it's okay."

"It's not, though. It really isn't."

"You wouldn't have wanted to be there."

"Why not?"

"Because I kind of messed it up."

I ogle at her curiously. "How did you mess it up?"

"I said a bunch of things I probably shouldn't have."

Knowing that Mikasa is usually a woman of few words, I am a bit puzzled.

Noticing my wonderment, she elaborates, "At Eren's funeral, when it was my turn to go up and speak at the podium, a swarm of emotions just hit me all at once. People were saying how he could have made another person so _happy_. They were saying to Grisha and Carla that all of this was unfair, that he never had the chance to _live,_ and how sorry they were. So, being as confused as I was, while speaking about my personal memories of him, I talked about memories that might have made Eren roll over in his coffin. It may have not been the best decision, but it just felt _right_. Does that make sense?"

"It does."

"I think there would have been more anger if I wasn't crying as much as I was, but I don't know. Grisha wasn't happy, but Carla told me that she always knew. She said that she caught us one night kissing, but allowed it to continue. She said that she was scared that Eren would be hurt by somebody else, specifically mentioning how Eren is with grudges. She was concerned that he wouldn't be able to get over a bad relationship. She said the reason it concerned her so much was because she thought it would plague other relationships, and she always believed that Eren couldn't make it on his own-that he couldn't be independent.

"I was happy she accepted us, but it hurt to know that she would probably only accept us under the circumstances of Eren's anger issues and violent tendencies. Maybe I'm just thinking too much about it, but it's been stuck in my head almost everyday."

My brain shorts on me again, and all I can say to Mikasa's monologue is: "I'm really sorry, Mikasa."

She doesn't stop during my apology, "The reason I came to you is because you are the only one who genuinely accepted us, and I wanted to know _why._ "

This night has been such an oddity already that this question surprises me. Mikasa, being the quiet and stoic person she is, is so much different when she allows herself to speak. I always knew the softer side of hers was shown to Eren, but when she shows this vulnerability to me, it takes me a moment to mentally and emotionally accustom it.

"Well, I guess..." I trail off in an incomplete sentence, rubbing my eyes a third time. "I guess it's just because it always felt normal to me. Even when we were really young, I always suspected it. I was actually sad about it because when we were kids-" I pause, flushing slightly, "-because I had a pretty big crush on you. When I got older, I saw the color of the grass, and I just became happy for you guys. You guys were perfect for one another."

Mikasa gives a sad laugh, and while it's another unusual thing for her to do, it relieves me somewhat. "You had a crush on _me_?"

I rub my eyes a fourth time, but this time it's because I'm embarrassed. "I-I did."

"I thought you were always crushing on Annie?"

I shake my head. "I didn't crush on Annie until I was older."

"By the way, what happened with you and Annie?"

A small pang of discomfort hits my chest, and I think Mikasa notices it, because she starts apologizing.

I wave her off with a tentative smile. "Don't worry about it. I don't mind telling you. You've told me everything you have, after all.

With a deep breath, I begin, "To summarize all of this, Annie and me dated a bit during high-school, but it felt unnatural. I was really happy about it, but it's easy to notice when something is off." I start picking at a hangnail because it is really bugging me. "I think with how seclusive Annie was, and with how terrible of a family life she had, she just desired general affection, albeit from anybody. Since I was so excited about the prospect of our relationship, I was blind to what our relationship was-two very confused people trying something they had never tried before. I don't think either of us realized, either, just how damaging a bad relationship is... Well, I didn't, at least.

"Annie grew a lot colder to me the more our relationship progressed, more so than what was customary to her demeanor. One morning before classes started, I saw her pull up in the parking lot. I went to knock on her window and greet her, but when I did, I saw her kissing a tall, dark-haired boy. They eventually noticed me, because I was just kind of frozen outside her window. It's weird because I think I always knew something like it was going to happen, but when it did, I was just frozen. It's similar to where you get a shot at the doctor's; you wait for the needle to pierce your skin and for the pain to set in because you know it's necessary for your health, but the pain still hurts. It's strange, because I do think that relationship was necessary for me to understand life itself better; how hurt people do things to hurt other people because they don't know what else to do with that hurt."

I always talk too much when I reminisce about past happenings, and knowing that I've gotten off track, I apologize, "I'm sorry, I'm starting to babble."

"No," Mikasa shakes her head, "I'm following you fine."

After I rip off that stupid hangnail with a small grimace, I conclude my story. "I would find out that the boy's name was Bertholdt, and like Annie, he was in a class above me. It's funny because I think he was more sorry than Annie was. He apologized profusely and it was impossible to get him to stop. It would have been funny if I wasn't so sad at the time. I told him it was okay, and though Annie and I never really said anything that concluded our relationship, I saw her smile with Bertholdt in same way Eren did with you, so I just went on with my life and did my best not to dwell on it."

"You didn't deserve that, though," Mikasa sourly comments.

I shrug. "Maybe not, but it's best to just let it go. Whenever I think about it, I start psychologically readdressing myself in ways I probably shouldn't. It's easy to distract yourself in the present with the past, and when the present becomes the past, you realize that all you did was waste time."

She nods, letting out a somber yawn.

"By the way, how did you know where my apartment was?"

"When you sent me that apology card after Eren passed, I kept the envelope for the return address. I always wanted to visit, but never had the heart to do so."

"Oh, that makes sense."

With closed eyes, we sit in silence for awhile, starting to doze off. I think both of us are physically and emotionally exhausted, remembering these dispiriting things that neither of us can ever change. While Mikasa informed me the frequency with which these solemn thoughts affect her, I can only imagine the impact they have upon her life. The only reason I am glad I missed Eren's funeral is because I didn't have to see her cry, though I feel like a coward that I wasn't there to at least comfort her. It's hard to explain it, but seeing her cry is one of the most upsetting things I have ever seen in my life.

"Hey," she says.

"Hey," I reply.

In a very uncharacteristically shy way, she asks, "Would you... mind if I spent the night?"

I shake my head, "Of course not. It's pretty late, anyways. Do you want to take my bed? I don't mind the couch."

She hesitates, "That would be nice, but... couldn't we both take the bed?"

Though my eyes were shut momentarily in this tired trance, they immediately snap open. We seem to both become flustered, and while waving her hands, she frantically explains. "I'm not trying to seduce you or anything, I just meant like when all three of us were kids, and we had sleepovers. I-I thought those were fun, but if it's too weird for you, we don't have to."

With a wavering voice and racing heart, I stammer out, "N-No, it's fine. We can do that... if you want to."

Once the awkward atmosphere dissipates a little, she gives me a kind smile. "I'm not the bed hog, either."

"I remember," I assure her while my burning cheeks begin to cool, "it was always Eren. He was the worst to sleep with."

That night, in the dimness of my bedroom overflowing with incomplete papers, and with Mikasa's ebony-haired head across from mine on a separate pillow, I can't help but notice that she looks almost completely the same as I remember her. While both of us are now in our early twenties and embarking on whatever careers we may be, the same safe sensation of comfort and mutual acceptance that was always there during our tripartite friendship with Eren has returned to me, and I forgot just how much I missed it. It imprints such a richly nostalgic feeling in my abdomen that it seems to rise up into my throat and causes my esophagus to burn. I almost feel like crying. Thankfully, before I am able to make a fool out of myself with tears, Mikasa says something:

"Hey."

"Y-Yeah?" I answer a bit too loudly.

"You look good with short hair, by the way."

"Oh, thanks." In a weird sense of nervousness, I feel it's only polite to compliment her back. "You look... _good_."

When no words follow this, Mikasa laughs. "You think so?"

"I'm sorry," I blush, "that didn't come out right."

"It's okay," she yawns. "You know, you're starting to act just like I remember," she says with an exhausted smile.

After Mikasa falls asleep and I am more awake than ever, I start to feel the warmth in my abdomen of something that is more than just the platonic love of an old friend. It makes me uneasy and guilty to think about, but maybe that crush on Mikasa never did die. It makes me nauseous to think about this feeling in the awareness that Eren has passed on, that Mikasa has been suffering ever since then on a continual basis, and that my stupid, selfish emotions just want to be reciprocated despite this. Maybe life shouldn't be so complicated. Maybe I should just stop thinking. Maybe I should just go to bed.

Okay, I'm going to go to sleep now. Goodnight.

* * *

 _ **Hello all,  
**_

 _ **It's been quite awhile since I've wrote and published anything on here, so hopefully this is well received. One of my favorite ships out of SNK is Armin and Mikasa, but I feel like they're a pretty unpopular ship, so I decided to write a quick thing with them. Hopefully the pacing is okay because it was one of my biggest concerns when editing this. It's exceptionally easy to make a story either too fast or much too slow, so hopefully it all looks okay.**_

 _ **Thanks for reading!**_

 _ **-Arreku97**_


	2. 2

_**2**_

* * *

That morning, Mikasa leaves nothing for me but an upturned blanket.

When I start brushing my teeth and washing my face, my mind wanders. That unusual warmth from last night hasn't left, and while it's a pleasant feeling, it also makes me feel a small amount of loathing for myself considering the tragic circumstances. I really do hope that all I'm feeling is the platonic affection of an old friend returning to me, but I'm not so convinced. There is something _different_ about it that's hard to explain. I didn't even feel this way for Annie before that relationship became toxic.

I also keep thinking about _him._ This is the former fiancee of a deceased, albeit, _estranged,_ friend. It's a disgusting idea to harbor those feelings for the only person Eren was intimate with two years after his unexpected death. Not only is it appalling for Eren's sake, but for Mikasa's sake, too. I know that she is still struggling with the fact her best friend has departed, and instead of thinking about the ways I can help her cope with this terrible fate, my mind is immediately racing to that of a potential romance. It makes me feel sick.

I don't even know if Mikasa will ever contact me again, either. This could have just been a visitation made out of momentary weakness. Mikasa isn't the type to show that softer side of her like she did last night. While I know that she has matured since our adolescence and became more comfortable in showing her emotions, showing her vulnerability to someone like me is a very extraordinary thing for Mikasa to do. She was always unwilling to show her softer side to Eren and I when we were younger because she wanted for us to believe that she was a both strong and indefatigable person. She wanted us to believe this so that we would feel safe, even when Eren and I were bullied a lot during elementary school. She wanted us to be happy.

When I go to work my shift at the restaurant today, I find myself unable to think straight. I cannot stop messing up orders, and after getting chewed out by my manager, Ymir, in front of about a dozen bewildered customers, I try to use that embarrassment to refocus myself on working. I keep messing up, though, and when it's time for break, Ymir has a straightforward talk with me.

"Armin," she begins, taking a seat across from me with her lunch, "weren't you the smart one in our class back in high school?"

I shrug.

"So why the fuck are you working here? At a shitty ass fast food restaurant, where you have someone like me barking at you?"

I scratch my cheek. "Because I never finished my college degree. Also, all the other places near my apartment weren't hiring. The only openings I found were too far away, so I would have just wasted a lot of gas money and ended up with the same profit; all while eating up a lot more time," I say.

"So, why didn't you finish your degree?" she asks, chewing a mouthful of hamburger. "What were you going for?"

"Oceanography, but I stopped because I started to get anxious."

" _Anxious?_ " She stares at me with evident incredulity. "About what?"

"My professor would frequently mark my correct answers incorrect."

"That's _it_?" she laughs. "Why didn't you just tell the douchebag he was wrong?"

"I did, but he was pretty persuasive. When I used references or statistics to show him he was incorrect, he would turn the other students on me by riling them up." I hesitate momentarily, frowning at the memory. "He wouldn't let me speak with him alone, either. He would make me speak in front of the whole class, and after two years of being laughed at, I just kind of... _left_. It was around the time Eren passed, too, so my psyche wasn't in the best of places, really."

"That... sucks, actually. You can't make a proper living off of minimum wage, though. Plus, I think you'll lose your sanity working at a place like this your whole life."

I take a sip of my water. "I know. I want to go to another school, but I just haven't found the motivation to do so ever since all that happened. It kind of ruined academia for me in a way. I haven't even read anything educational in awhile, either."

Ymir uses her sleeve to wipe drooling ketchup off of her lip. "You shouldn't let people ruin that for you, though. You don't seem like the person that can survive with an absent mind. You always found a way to keep yourself busy at our school, doing all that weird shit you did." She then takes a sip from her straw even though her soda is completely empty, causing the ice to rattle. "I started going because my girlfriend and me got into an argument about it. I told her that I didn't give a damn about my future, but then she started crying when I said that, and... I _really_ don't like seeing her cry. I kind of start panicking because I don't know what to do."

I give a small laugh. It's nice for Ymir to confirm she has a soft side, even though it's now shown to everyone- _err_ , scratch that. It's nice for Ymir to confirm has a soft side, even though it's shown only to _one_ person. I'm curious who that person may be.

"Yeah, yeah," she sighs, balling up her burger wrapper and burping, "I know what you're thinking. You probably thought I wasn't capable of being nice, _didn't_ you?"

I shake my head. "No, no. I didn't think that. I'm just surprised you're willing to _admit_ it, is all."

I start smiling wider when I see Ymir's poor attempt at concealing her blush. She refuses to make eye contact as she starts eating a few of her french fries. I think I'm starting to irritate her.

"Do you really want me to yell at you in front of a bunch of people again?" she eventually warns in a subdued voice.

With a visibly flustered Ymir, I let a few minutes pass without any more words being said between us. A few of the customers chat amiably with mouths full of half chewed food, and in the far corner of the dining area, I can hear a child crying because she didn't get the toy that she wanted with her meal. With a few minutes before my break being over, I step behind the counter and grab one variant of each toy we're currently giving out. It's for some movie franchise I have not heard of before, but the youth really seem to enjoy it.

" _Here_ ," I say, crouching down beside their table with a handful of unopened toys.

A brunette woman, a man with a shaved head, and the small girl whom I assume is their red-haired daughter, all look at me with surprise.

"You didn't get the one you wanted, right? Well, you can have them _all._ "

With the natural timidity of a child, the red-haired girl, looking to be about three to four years old, hesitates before warily plucking the toys out of my palms and smiling. Her mother reciprocates that smile, and her father soon asks her:

"Whaddya say, Riley?"

The small girl mumbles a very incoherent "Thank you," and when I turn to leave, her mother calls out to me.

"Err, hey there. What's your name?" There's a southern drawl to her voice, I notice.

"Armin," I reply.

I briefly shake hands with them.

"Sasha," the brown-haired woman says.

"Connie," the man with the shaved head says.

"We're new in town," Sasha soon explains, "We just moved in, actually. Haven't even unpacked yet, so we were wantin' to get some food in us before gettin' to work."

"I appreciate you giving her those toys, man," Connie chimes in, and I notice that, unlike his wife, his high-pitched voice has no drawl to it. "She doesn't let these types of things go. She really, _really_ doesn't." After he says this, I then notice how exhausted they both look, adorning dark bags under their eyes. I wonder if that's because of parenting or moving?

"No problem," I say with a smile. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but I need return to my station. It was nice meeting you all."

"You too," they both say.

When I'm back behind the counters, I see Ymir shaking her head at me as she resupplies and cleans some of our machinery.

"You're _too_ nice, Armin," she groans. "You're going to make me barf. Seriously."

I drive home that day after my shift feeling somewhat conflicted. I can't help but keep thinking about last night, and when I try to ignore it and realize that it was just a chance encounter, I then remember that wonderful sensation of being able to have a friend to talk to about _anything_ at all. It's been such a long time since I've had that. My mind wanders to all of those ancient times with Eren and Mikasa when I was still so young and naive about everything that was before me. A frown tugs at my lips when I become engrossed in some long, lost memories.

We had these slumber parties at Eren's house where we would all pretend to be asleep because Carla would check on us for the first few hours after our bedtime. When it was safe, though, Eren would wake us all up-on the occasion we _did_ fall asleep-and we would play Mario Kart for hours on his GameCube into the late depths of the night. Mikasa was by far the best player, and even though she was ruthless against me with any shells or weapons she could find, she would always let Eren win, no matter _what_. Part of it was that Eren would get violently angry if he ever lost, but it was kind of cute when Mikasa did that. I would look over and see that she was deliberately lifting her finger off of the acceleration button, and when she caught me doing so, she would give me this horrible glare-warning me that if I ever _did_ tell Eren, she would probably kick my ass. Carla and Grisha would never understand why we were so tired the next morning. They would wave it off as nervous energy from the previous night.

I miss those times. I _really_ do.

I pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex, and after exiting my battered car with a bit of difficulty from the stiff door, I wander towards the door to my apartment looking at my feet. I startle when I look up to see that there is both a dark-haired woman and a dark-haired man waiting outside of it.

"Mikasa," I announce with some surprise, "H-Hi."

At first, Mikasa's face is affable and calm, but it quickly hardens and her whole face becomes dreadfully sour. She gets these exceptionally dark and cloudy eyes when she's upset. It's hard to explain, but it's like the area around her eyes become entirely void of light. It's really scary.

"W-What's wrong?" I ask nervously.

"Armin," she begins in an dangerously low voice, "when did you start _smoking_?"

It then dawns on me that there is a lit, half-finished cigarette hanging from my lips. It's a bad habit that started recently. I'm not proud of it, but it helps me when I get sullen. Unfortunately, I've been getting sullen a lot recently.

"U-U-Um," I stammer, " _not_ l-long ago."

In about three seconds, Mikasa is but inches before me, tearing the cigarette from my mouth and stomping heavily upon it. Even though the nicotine stick is completely smashed and destroyed, she continues pounding at it with her foot. Being that she's the strongest person I know, I'm really worried she might break through the concrete if she keeps going at it. She might even shatter a tectonic plate if she keeps it up.

"Boy," the apathetic looking man eventually comments, "it looks like you've really pissed her off. Good job."

After Mikasa concludes stomping that cigarette into absolute oblivion, she then presents her upturned palm before me. An expectant look traverses her continually darkening features. I am completely frozen in both confusion and fear.

"This came from a pack, right?" she growls. "Give me it. _Now_."

Mikasa has only ever spoken in this daunting tone when dealing with bullies that harassed either Eren or I. Having it spoke in my direction gives me the faint urge to pee myself and run away.

"M-Mikasa," I gently try, "I spent money on those, _a-and_ -"

"- _Armin_ ," she immediately cuts me off, "if you _don't_ give me them now, I will _forcefully_ get them from you. It's your choice."

I still cannot move. I'm just too scared.

"I'm waiting," she impatiently reminds me.

I concede, swallowing my nonexistent pride. I rummage through my pockets, retrieve the pack, and dolefully drop it into her palm. She then proceeds to do the exact same thing with the almost empty pack that she did to the singular cigarette. Within seconds, it is trampled and pulverized beyond all recognition.

" _Levi_ ," she addresses without looking at the man, collecting the aftermath of destruction into her hands, "wait in the car for us. We'll be there shortly."

He sighs, pushing himself off of the brick wall he was leaning upon. "Fine. This is pretty awkward, anyways."

After Levi leaves, Mikasa stares at me for a very long and uncomfortable sum of time. It's like she's trying to peer into my anatomy to see just how much of me has changed since the simpler days of childhood and adolescence-those simpler days of Mario Kart and sleepless nights. To add to all of this embarrassment, I still have not changed out of my work uniform, meaning that Mikasa now realizes just how far I've fallen from the upstanding student I was before. Do you know those times where you wish you wish you weren't born? Yeah, that's kind of how I feel right about now.

"Armin," she resumes with a very cold voice, "if you would, please let me into your apartment. I need to dispose of this and wash my hands."

"O-Of course," I murmur.

I scramble to find my keys, and after missing the keyhole about five or six times, I eventually jam the key in and get the stubborn door to open. While Mikasa enters the kitchen to do as she said, I head back to my room and change out of my work attire. When I exit my room dressed casually in a T-shirt and jeans, I find her waiting for me in the living room. Her arms are crossed, and while her face has softened slightly, I can tell she is still biting her tongue about everything she has seen. I don't blame her for being disappointed in me.

"You can yell at me if you want to," I say.

She slowly frowns. "Armin," she sighs, gradually unwinding her arms, "I don't want to yell at you. I came here because my brother and I are going out to eat for dinner. I just wanted to know if you wanted to come along."

"Do you still want me to?" I ask.

"Of course I do."

"You don't want to lecture me?"

"You mean about smoking?" Mikasa says. "You probably know more about the side effects than I do; so no, I'm not going to," she pauses briefly. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you out there, Armin, but if I have the power to stop somebody I care about from hurting and potentially killing themselves, then I'm going to use it. I never got that choice with Eren."

A chill ripples through the air when she mentions Eren in that context, and even though I feel a small pang in my chest thereafter her mentioning it, Mikasa doesn't even flinch. After seeing her in such a condition last night, I know that the looming remembrance of Eren still affects her. She's wearing that same customary armor she did when we were young, and even though I can't see it, I know it's there. But more than anything, I want her to be able to show her vulnerability at her own discretion, because I would never want to make her uncomfortable. You can't help someone without them wanting to be helped. If you try, all it does is hurt them more.

I clear my throat. "Thank you for still worrying about me, Mikasa. I really do appreciate it."

Her face softens, and much to my relief, she smiles for the first time since last night. "We should go," she quietly says. "Levi's really impatient. He'll cause a scene if he gets kept waiting much longer. He's kind of like a middle-aged toddler."

"Oh, um, okay," I nod.

After I turn off the lights and lock the door behind us, we wander outside into the parking lot. The sun is starting to sag lowly in the sky of few clouds, and when I look down, I see Levi crossing his arms and looking as impatient Mikasa said he could be. He's standing beside a pristine black car with a small bottle in his right hand. He notices us and turns his gaze towards me when we approach the car.

"Is he coming?"

"Yes, Levi," Mikasa replies.

When I walk closer towards the car alongside Mikasa, Levi quickly moves in front of me. His stern countenance is completely unreadable, and to be completely honest, he's kind of an unnerving person. His demeanor makes me feel like I'm guilty about something that I'm not even in the awareness of.

"Um, hi," I greet.

"Let me see your hands," he orders without warning.

" _Levi_ ," Mikasa chastises.

"It's my car, Mikasa; meaning, it's _my_ rules. Now, stranger, display your hands."

I glance towards Mikasa uneasily, and even though she shakes her head with discernible annoyance, she motions for me to do as Levi says. When I hold out my shaky hands, Levi sternly grabs them and puts his face peculiarly close to them. I can even feel his breath on my skin. This experience thus far is extremely unpleasant, and it's starting to make me feel really insecure about my hands. I almost tear my them away from him when I hear him start making sniffing noises. Much to my relief, he eventually releases my hands, and when he raises his head, he gives an approving nod. Is that a good thing?

"You've passed my inspection, stranger," he indifferently announces. "Your nails are clean, your skin isn't greasy, and is that... _coconut_?"

"I-I think so?"

He continues to nod approvingly, taking a deep breath. "I think it is very telling of a person's conduct based upon the condition, or lack thereof, of their hands. If they keep their hands clean and odorless, then I believe them to be respectable. If they keep their hands dirty and fetid, then I believe them to be unwholesome and should be discarded like the trash that they are. Surely you can understand that?"

I'm not sure I do.

"For precautionary reasons," he continues, holding up a bottle of hand sanitizer, "would you please allow me to apply some of this to your hands for decontamination purposes? Afterward, I will give you permission to enter my vehicle."

He squirts out an endless amount of hand sanitizer onto my hands, and when I rub my hands together, he watches me do so with the utmost attention. Because of how much sanitizer there is, it takes me about five minutes to rub it all in. The skin on my hands actually starts to faintly burn. Once my skin finally absorbs the sanitizer, he nods at me again and makes his way to the driver's side door. Mikasa and I enter the backseats thereafter. When he turns on the car, we all almost go deaf for the fact that heavy metal music blares into our ears at what I'm pretty sure is full volume. Even though Levi turns it down swiftly, Mikasa glares at him in the same horrible way she did to me moments ago.

"I was _bored_ when you were up there," Levi explains. "I had no choice."

* * *

 _ **Hey everybody,**_

 _ **I decided to continue this one-shot because I thought the universe behind it was too much to pass up on. Being that life is life and usually gets complicated, I can't guarantee that this story will get finished in its entirety. I have some ideas, however, and I will probably start working on the next chapter soon. Thanks again to everybody for reading, reviewing, adding this story to favorites, and following it. It means a lot to me. I appreciate your support. Also, I've returned to this chapter to update any typo's. I had a few in there after updating this when I was quite tired. Sorry about that.**_

 _ **-Arreku97**_


	3. 3

**_QUICK NOTICE:_**

 _I made the following revisions to Chapter Two due to imminent story/character progression reasons._

 _1\. I removed Levi's fiancee._

 _2\. I adjusted some of Levi's dialogue at the end of the chapter._

 _I made these changes because I wanted to flesh out Levi's character more (he's going to continue playing a big role) rather than leave him little room for development._

 _Thanks again for reading and sorry for the sudden change!_

 ** _3_**

* * *

Levi and Mikasa are siblings of few words.

While we drive, barely anything is said between them. Levi pays attention to the road and bickers under his breath at a few reckless drivers; Mikasa stares outside her window at the buildings we gradually pass by. Levi changes a song on the CD player; Mikasa responds to a text on her phone. Levi cleans his hands with hand sanitizer (I've seen him do that about three times now); Mikasa stretches her arms and yawns.

At first, I thought this silence was just because I was the odd man out in this trio, but I'm starting to believe that this is how the siblings regularly interact. While I might be imagining this, I notice a peculiar sense of understanding and comfort between them. It's as if they both know they're people of reticence, and by not disturbing that wordless lull, they're exchanging more words than real voices could ever hope to. It's really quite fascinating.

They always seem to be in sync, too. It's amazing to watch. We made a pit-stop for gas, and in a silent duality, Levi went inside to pay while Mikasa exited the car and started pumping the gas. Not one word was said between them during the whole process, and because of that, everything was complete within three minutes. When Levi returned with a soda, I thought at first he'd bought it for himself, but he wordlessly tossed it to Mikasa in the backseat who caught it without looking up from her phone. It was such a fluent and natural course of events that the soda didn't even fizz due to the turbulence.

I clear my throat when we start driving again. "L-Levi, is it?" I ask.

"It is," he replies, eyes glued on the road.

"It's nice to meet you," I say.

"You can't be certain of that."

Though Levi doesn't look back at me, he picks up on my perplexity.

"What I mean," he resumes nonchalantly, "is that if I end up realizing that you are an intolerable and aggravating person, you'll regret ever meeting me. That's just how it is unfortunately."

"O-Oh," I lower my head.

"Thus far, you've done nothing to upset me. That's a good thing."

"I'm glad," I reply. "I hope I don't upset you, and that we can become good friends."

He shrugs. "I don't think it's necessary for us to become friends. If you're an acquaintance that doesn't bother me, then that will be enough."

I frown. "Well, I'd be happy to be friends with you if you would ever like to be."

"If you're deliberately going out of your way to become friends with me," Levi merges the car into another lane, "then you are a very _strange_ person."

"Why is that?" I can't help but inquire.

"Mikasa," Levi addresses, "does he know anything of me?"

Mikasa shakes her head. "I haven't told him anything."

"That's why, then," Levi sighs. "What's your name, kid?"

"Armin," I say.

" _Armin_ ," he repeats. "Listen, you shouldn't want to make any associations with me. I'm certain you're a nice kid, but I'm a very _painful_ person to be around. I've caused a lot of unnecessary suffering, and while I've matured since then, you can't _completely_ change who you are. You'll always be that person you're afraid to be, and even when you try to change your _persona,_ you'll still be that same _person._ Does that make sense?"

"I think so," I say.

"The only reason why Mikasa and I speak is because she recently helped me during a time of need. It is now my turn to return that favor," Levi pauses before continuing, "Being that Mikasa and I were never really close, once I pay off my debts to her, I plan to remove myself from her life as quickly as I've entered it. It's that simple."

I notice Mikasa attempt to conceal a wince as Levi makes these statements, and soon afterward, there is a somber aura that slowly radiates from her. It makes my heart hang heavy.

"Really?" I nervously ask. "But you guys seem to be in sync with one another in everything you do. It's almost like you guys are from another planet."

"Maybe it has something to do with genetics," Levi suggests. "Nevertheless, we are siblings by blood and name only. I wasn't her brother before, and I'm most certainly not now. The debt is all that keeps me with her. Once that is gone, I will be gone, too."

There is something I want to say, but it might make everything, and perhaps _everyone_ , uncomfortable. I also don't like the idea of speaking for another individual, but sometimes I believe that you need a good friend to say something for you when you can't bring yourself to say it. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anybody else, but it makes sense to me.

I scratch my cheek. "Maybe the way you can repay that debt is by staying with Mikasa. Having a brother, I would think, is a pretty invaluable and wonderful thing."

I notice Mikasa glance at me from the corner of her eye with some surprise. I'm relieved to find that she isn't upset with me for saying that. I just want her to be happy, and for whatever reason, I'm not getting the impression that she wants to be separated from her brother-whether or not he is as "painful" as he claims to be.

"I would advise you to keep your suggestions to yourself," Levi warns coldly. "We've already made an arrangements for all my debts to be paid, and it _doesn't_ include me staying. There's nothing else that needs to be addressed between us that has not already been."

My frown deepens. "I really think you guys can be close, though. At first, I thought the silence between you two was just mutual comfort. You guys seem so natural together."

Levi laughs dryly. "If you think this is _natural_ , then you're blind. The reason that we're silent is because we have _nothing_ to say to each other. That's all there is to it."

"I... see," I mumble sadly.

With that, the conversation anticlimactically concludes. I have so many things I want to say, but I'm starting to get worried about pushing Levi's buttons before I really know what type of person he is. I want to help both of them, but I know that verbally objecting to their "arrangements" is only going to make everything messy and potentially hurt people. I really don't want to hurt anybody. I really don't.

We eventually arrive at an Italian restaurant that I've never heard of before. Mikasa soon explains that she and Eren would frequently eat here before he passed. It makes me a little bit uncomfortable to know that, but I'm obviously not going to protest her choice. She also claims that Levi is an extremely picky eater, and that Italian just happens to be one of his favorite cuisines. I guess that's a good thing. Maybe it will make Levi happier. He seems kind of gloomy ever since we had that talk in the car. I think I may have soiled any good impression I had on him.

After a rather long wait for a vacant table, we are finally seated by a polite man named Marlo. After exchanging brief pleasantries, he excuses himself to show other parties to their respective tables.

"What are you getting, Levi?" Mikasa asks as she idly flips through the menu.

"Linguine Carbonara, and a cappuccino," Levi responds instantly.

"Are you saving the coffee for afterward?" Mikasa inquires.

He shakes his head. "I'll drink it as I eat."

She takes a sip of water. "It's hard to imagine that those two things would go well together."

He folds his menu indifferently. "You grow a taste for it."

"What about you, Armin?" she then asks.

I scratch my cheek. "Umm..."

There are so many things on the menu that it's making me start to mentally panic. Do you know that feeling where you want to try something new at a restaurant, but they all have really strange and perplexing names, so you get really nervous you might mispronounce it? I also don't want to look like a glutton in front of a friend that I'm reacquainting with. Are these rational fears, or am I just weird? I don't really know.

"I'll probably just get spaghetti," I eventually resolve.

Levi sighs at me like I'm a child. "Don't get spaghetti."

I blink. "Why not?"

"I've been here a few times," he admits. "Their food is usually worthwhile, but some of their dishes are unnecessarily overpriced with the bare minimal effort put into their creation. I don't know how someone can screw up making spaghetti, but these idiots do. It's best that you avoid it."

That's kind of weird to me. You would think that an Italian restaurant specializing in pasta would be able to make the best spaghetti you ever tasted. Hopefully that's not presumptuous of me to think.

I clear my throat. "Well... then I guess I will go with the... _Ricotta Gnudi_?"

Levi shakes his head in noticeable frustration. "That's an even _worse_ choice, and you poorly mispronounced it."

I blush at having my fear come into fruition. "I-I'm sorry..."

"Do you just want me to order for you?" he impatiently asks. "You'll save yourself some embarrassment, and I promise you that you'll enjoy what I order for you. I know what I'm doing here."

Levi speaks with such a confidence about pasta, and because of this, I really do trust him when he claims that I'll enjoy whatever he orders. And even if I don'tlike what he orders for me, I'll just pretend that I do. That should make everyone happy, _right_? Right.

"Okay," I relent. "If you're willing to order for me, Levi, then I would be perfectly fine with that. Thank you."

He nods approvingly. He then lets his piercing eyes wander around the restaurant as he rests his chin in his palm.

"Are you a chef, Levi?" I can't help but ask.

He doesn't look at me when he replies, "Who knows."

Levi isn't the easiest person to make conversation with, I notice. When I look over at Mikasa for guidance, she gives me an unknowing shrug. I wonder if he's as much of a mystery to her as he is to me?

"Hi guys," our red-headed waiter announces her presence. "How are you all doing today?"

We reciprocally announce that we're doing fine.

"My name is Petra, and I will be your waiter tonight," she then pauses as she seems to notice Mikasa more than the rest of us. "Oh, it's you! How have you been? I haven't seen you in forever!"

"I'm fine, thanks. How are you?" Mikasa replies.

"I'm great, thanks!" Petra beams. "How's your soon-to-be hubby doing? Is he here with you guys tonight?"

A darkness begins to quickly encompass Mikasa's now-despondent features, and when she remains silent for a few poignant seconds, Levi promptly interjects.

"I would _highly_ advise you to switch conversation topics as soon as possible."

While Petra seems puzzled at first, a wave of awareness seems to wash over her, and she apologetically gasps. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I didn't know-"

Mikasa waves her off. "-It's fine. Please don't worry about it. May we please order our food now?"

Petra quickly retrieves her pen and booklet from her apron. "O-Of course," she stammers out.

We all make our orders, but when Petra looks at me expectantly, Levi orders for me like he said he would. He ends up ordering me the exact same thing that he is getting-Linguine Carbonara and a cappuccino. He didn't ask me if I wanted the cappuccino, but he just kind of ordered it anyway. I don't really want to take the coffee and pasta experiment, but I guess I now have no choice.

"Are you okay, Mikasa?" Levi asks after Petra leaves.

I look over and notice that Mikasa is staring directly into the tablecloth. Her eyes seem to be lost within themselves, and a few stray hairs fall into her abstracted visage. The sight of her looking so vulnerable and mournful is something that I don't think I'll ever get used to. It's a side of her that she never showed to me during our younger days.

"I'm fine," she eventually replies, but she keeps absently staring at the tablecloth. After a few moments of strained silence, she eventually mumbles, "Will you guys excuse me? I need to get some fresh air."

After Mikasa stands up and walks out of earshot, Levi lets out a long, weary sigh. " _Fuck me_ ," he cusses.

I look at him inquisitively.

"She needs someone," he soon explains. He then stares at me in a very critical, scrutinizing way. "Are you her friend?" he asks.

"What?"

"I asked if you were her _friend_."

I nod my head. "I-I believe I am, yes."

"Are you a _good_ friend or a _shitty_ friend?"

I scratch my cheek. "A good friend, I would hope."

"Then go outside and help her," Levi orders. "That's the least a good friend can do, right?"

I swallow anxiously, but nod my head. Within seconds, I am traversing through the throngs of hungry people that are waiting for their tables. An impatient boy plays a video-game on his smart phone in the waiting room, completely oblivious to the fact that an ailing woman just walked past him. While I would never expect this boy to be in the awareness of such things, it's just weird to me how we're all so oblivious and ignorant of the pain and loss that our fellow humans suffer through on a daily basis. I suppose ignorance is the one thing that keeps us all from losing our sanity.

When I exit the restaurant and enter into the approaching twilight, I see a dark-haired woman covering her eyes with her hand as she sulks behind Levi's car.

"Mikasa," I approach her.

Without raising her hand, she combatively mutters out, "What are you doing, Armin?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she says.

"You're lying, Mikasa," I frown.

"Armin, please go inside. I'll be in shortly."

But I don't leave. I want to help her. I _know_ I can help her. It's just that finding the proper words to do so can be extraordinarily difficult at times where it really matters. You _want_ to say everything the other person wants to hear, but you can't because you're uncertain about what words they want to hear; or maybe you _do know_ the right words, but you can't find the proper way to say them. I'm really terrible in these situations.

"Armin," she addresses me sternly, "I _need_ to be alone right now. Go inside."

"Mikasa," I hesitate, "I will leave if that's what you really want, but can I say something?"

"What is it?"

I waver. "It's alright to show people your vulnerability, Mikasa."

When she lowers her hand and looks at me with a dangerous glare, I frantically wave my hands.

"I-I don't mean it like _that_ ," I pause, trying to pick out the right words from the ensuing discord in my mind. "What I'm trying to say, Mikasa, is that we _all_ have our hardships-some of us more than others. I have no idea what you have went through with Eren, but I know it was tough, and I know that it still affects you... But the thing I know about coping is that it's much more difficult when you don't have anybody there with you. It was something I learned when I stopped associating with you and Eren."

When I look at her, I notice that she has lowered her head. Her hair is shrouding the predominance of her features, making her face expressionless to me.

"When you came to my apartment last night, I was really surprised, but I was also really _happy_." I notice that she peeks through her fringe at me when I announce that. "I wasn't happy because you're _suffering_ , but I was happy because it meant a lot to me that you were willing to confide in me everything that is haunting you. I've never had a person trust me like that. The times Eren was depressed or upset, he would be too stubborn to to tell me anything, or he would confide in you instead. The times Annie was upset, she would become very cold to me, but I thought that it was a process and that she just needed some time to accustom expressing herself.

"But Annie never came around, and all of this confused me because I started to think that it was what people normally did; I started to think that everybody just held in all of their emotions and sadness, doing their best to ignore it as they continued their lives." I pause to catch a much needed breath. "It made me feel weak, too, considering that I've had to confide in Eren and my grandfather countless times in the past. I even confided in Annie once, but she didn't really respond, and it made me paranoid that she thought less of me because of it. I stopped confiding in anybody after Annie because I had already stopped speaking with Eren, my grandfather had already been dead for three years, and I didn't want to be weak anymore.

"What I've learned is that we shouldn't care if people think that we are weak. If they're too stubborn to trust anybody and unburden themselves of their grief, then they're probably just going to hurt a lot worse than we do. If there is a trust you have for someone that allows you to share your deepest most private thoughts, then that is a wonderful thing, and you should never hesitate to use it."

I take another moment to give Mikasa a timid smile. "The reason I'm saying all of this is because I would be happy to confide in you, Mikasa, as long as you're okay with it. I know it's a little strange since we never got to speak all that much when we were younger, but I trust you, and I want you to trust me enough to be able to confide in me, too. You're a wonderful person, and more than anything, I just really want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy, Mikasa."

Sadly, Mikasa doesn't reply. Her hair continues to shroud her features, so I can't tell if what I said made any impact upon her. I just want to help her, but I feel like I'm doing a pretty poor job at it. I wish it was easier to help people.

I clear my throat. "I'll go inside like I said I would, but please don't keep us waiting in there. We want you to be with us."

When I go back to our table feeling a bit disheartened, I see Levi casually talking with Petra. When they notice me, Petra immediately asks:

"Is she okay? I really had no idea what happened her fiancee, I really didn't! They used to come here and eat all the time!"

As I take my seat, I give Petra an uncertain smile. "I think she'll be okay. She just needs a moment."

Petra frowns. "I hope so... I feel awful."

I take a sip of my water. "Mikasa is a very strong person, and I just think that-"

I'm quickly interrupted as I notice that Petra's gaze promptly turns into another direction. When I look behind me to see what she is looking at, I see Mikasa slowly walking back over to the table. Petra hastily excuses herself, apologizing to the lot of us once again. When Mikasa sits down, I see that her face has returned to it's traditionally stoic status.

"Your guys' food is probably cold by now," Levi predicts, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "I drank your cappuccino, Armin. It would have been wasted, otherwise."

I laugh awkwardly. "Don't worry about it. I'm glad it didn't get wasted."

Levi is absolutely correct when he states that our food is cold. I took a bite of... whatever it is that Levi ordered me, and it's definitely chilled now. Mikasa is worrying me because, even though her countenance has returned to its normal demeanor, she's just mindlessly staring at her food. She hasn't even touched her utensils at all.

"Armin," she startles me with her voice. She still doesn't look up from her food. "That can't be good when it's cold."

I shrug, smiling sheepishly. "I don't mind it. It's really not bad."

Mikasa then stares at me mutely for awhile, and with a face of uneasiness and dubiety, she eventually suggests with a lot of irresolution, "...Why don't you just come over to our place? We can get takeout boxes and just heat them up when we get there."

I stop eating, quietly gaping at her with surprise. Once that surprise wanes, I nod my head and blabber out, "S-Sure. If that's okay, I mean."

Mikasa looks over at Levi in silent question.

Levi sighs. "The more the merrier... I guess."

* * *

 _ **Hello!**_

 _ **Thanks a ton for reading, reviewing, following, and adding this story to your favorites! All of it means a lot to me!**_

 _ **I'm hoping you guys are enjoying how Levi is progressing as a character. I had a temptation to make him a complete goofball, but I thought it might be more interesting if he remained in character throughout the rest of the story. He might have his goofy moments, but overall he should be pretty authentic to that of his character. I believe that the added tension of having Mikasa potentially being separated from Levi gives her character more of a reason to be in such sorrowful states. While I know Eren has passed quite recently, for such a strong and stubborn character like Mikasa, I thought it wasn't accurate to have her so despondent without having her whole world come crashing down on her all at once. I hope that makes sense.**_

 _ **Thanks again for reading!**_


	4. 4

_**4**_

* * *

If Mr. Clean had an apartment, I would suspect that it would look something like this.

Standing from outside the doorway, I see that the carpeting has parallel vacuum lines, the walls appear to be recently painted and blemish free, the furniture is absent of any visible imperfection, every miniature utensil that is normally overlooked has been straightened, and I'm pretty sure the air itself is sparkling. It's a pretty magical place.

"Welcome to my apartment. Take off your disgusting shoes before you enter," Levi advises.

I take off my shoes and leave them at the doorstep, but I'm a little nervous to walk in because I feel like my presence is still going to contaminate everything. There's so much backbreaking work that has been put into maintaining this lot, and in a bizarre mixture of admiration and fright, I find myself too apprehensive to walk inside.

"Are you coming in, Armin?" Mikasa inquires.

"Am I... allowed?" I ask. I really don't know why I ask it, but Levi's apartment is just as intimidating as he is.

Mikasa blinks at me. "Of course you're allowed. Why wouldn't you be?"

"I-I don't know," I blurt out, walking inside.

Being inside of the apartment is just as magical as when I was an outsider peering in. The air quality can be compared to that of what it might be like if man or beast never occupied Earth, and you might become convinced that, looking around, dust never existed. The furnishing can be described as minimalistic, but there are modern appliances littered throughout the proximity in a tactful, orderly fashion. All of the cabinets and bins are labeled with immaculate handwriting describing what contents they contain. If I'm being honest, Levi puts my dingy apartment to shame.

"This is... _incredible_ ," I acclaim.

Levi shakes his head. "This isn't incredible. This is how you're _supposed_ to keep your residence, but most idiots are too lazy to be bothered with basic chores."

"Oh," I reply.

We all stand in the shimmering living room for a brief moment as I curiously gape around like a child in a toy store. Much to my concern, Mikasa looks down towards her brother (she's a few inches taller than him) and her countenance begins to darken again; however, this time the darkness is not somber, but it's as if she's about to enter the Hundred Years' War.

"Levi," Mikasa soon addresses, "we're going to eat on the _couch_ and watch a movie. Got it?"

Then, in one of the most horrifying displays I have ever witnessed, Levi's face darkens in an analogous way to that of Mikasa's. He returns her gladiatorial glare upward without hesitation, and as I awkwardly stand there, all I can think about is that if I stepped between them, the terrible collective malice of their two gazes would probably kill me.

"You're _not_ eating on the couch," Levi hisses. "I _just_ cleaned the cushion cases."

"Then I'll clean them again," Mikasa retorts.

"You don't know how to properly clean."

"Then you can teach me how."

"A waste of time," Levi sighs. "Cleaning isn't just a mechanical process, it's a skill that takes years to hone. Being that I perform all of the household cleaning, it would seem that you have not honed it at all."

"I'm certain that I can do anything just as good, if not _better_ than you."

Levi laughs dryly. "Is that _so_?"

"Very much so."

"You must be very confident in yourself, _sister_."

"I always have been, _brother_."

I think I should mention that neither of them have blinked in about a minute, and I'm starting to get worried. There's so much tension that I wouldn't be surprised if a light bulb exploded like they do in horror movies. I think I should probably say something.

"It's okay, Mikasa, I don't mind-"

"Armin," she cuts me off without looking in my direction, "be quiet."

I frown.

"It seems like neither of us are going to budge," Mikasa acknowledges.

"Nope," Levi replies.

"We'll have to find another method for settling this."

"That's unnecessary," Levi responds. "This is my home, sister. What I say will always be final."

"Are you forgetting your indebted to me, _pipsqueak_?"

Levi scowls, a ripple of enmity traversing his features. "That has its limitations, you _obsessive creep_."

Mikasa balls up her fists. "Eating on the couch is a _limitation_?"

"It is to me."

Mikasa begins to growl.

Levi makes a "hmph" noise.

I'm honestly starting to get worried that they're going to kill each other. I know Mikasa told me to "be quiet," but I don't want these two to get into a physical altercation over the usage of a couch. It's just a freaking couch.

"Hey," I interject again, desperately trying to think of something to settle this, "why don't you guys have an arm wrestling match, and whoever wins the match has ruling over the couch?"

"An _arm wrestling match_?" Levi stares at me in disbelief, before making a "tch" noise. "I'm not a child, unlike my _sister_ and _you_."

Mikasa's so agitated at this point that I'm worried she's going to explode.

"B-But you have nothing to lose other than a little physical exertion," I try. "I wouldn't normally recommend this, but this argument isn't going anywhere, and all we're doing is wasting time. It's getting pretty late, too."

Levi sighs, returning his glare to Mikasa. "It _is_ getting late."

"It really is," I say.

The two resume glaring at one another for a few moments until Levi eventually mutters, "Well, sister, since your friend..." he trails off, looking over at me. "What the hell is your name again?"

"Armin."

"Since your friend, _Armin_ , advised this course of action, I assume you have no objections?"

Mikasa makes this strange grunt noise in response. I'm starting to become concerned that she's turning into some sort of beast.

"Well then," Levi exhales, "what are we waiting for?"

We then make our way into the dining room and towards the polished mahogany table. Levi promptly flicks on the flight when he enters the room, and, much to my luck, Mikasa trails her brother by a few feet. Walking beside Mikasa, I quickly whisper something into her ear without Levi's awareness.

"Mikasa, if you don't think you can win, then go ahead and lose. When your hand hits the table, act like you're hurt. _"_

Mikasa briefly glances at me, and I see that some of her rage dissipates into noticeable skepticism, so quickly I mouth the words, " _Just trust me!_ "

They sit down across from each other at the small table, instantly lowering their sleeves. The mutual glare they shared moments ago, in all of its shadowy contempt, recommences without the slightest hesitation. When they place their elbows on the table and measure one another up, I notice that they both have extremely chiseled forearms. Is that a weird thing for me to notice?

"Are you ready, _sister_?"

"Very ready, _brother._ "

The arm wrestling match commences with the utmost intensity, and with dueling grips that both appear capable of bending tungsten, I watch in nervous awe. The wooden table creaks a few times, and as both of them grit their teeth with effort, I see the muscles in both of their forearms spasm a few times due to the ongoing struggle. For a few minutes, the match remains relatively balanced with neither of them gaining the advantage, but due to the forthcoming exhaustion, I see Mikasa's grip begin to waver as the top of her hand inches backward toward the table.

"Well," Levi commences in a voice that holds no fatigue, "I'm not sure if you notice this, sister, but you're losing to a _pipsqueak._ "

" _B-Be... quiet,_ " Mikasa growls.

They continue battling for about another minute, but soon the back of Mikasa's hand eventually crashes into the table with a loud, resounding thud. Levi does not smirk at this outcome, but there is an aura of triumph radiating from him as he watches Mikasa collect herself.

"It seems that I have won," he announces.

I watch as Mikasa looks at her fallen hand for a few moments, likely considering whether or not to follow through with what I advised her to. I somewhat expect Mikasa to be too proud to even feign pain, but much to my surprise, I watch as she clutches the wrist of her fallen hand. As Levi ogles at her with puzzlement, Mikasa makes a noise that I have never heard from her-a _whimper_.

Even more to my surprise, Levi's face _softens_. "What is it?" he asks.

But Mikasa doesn't reply. She continues grasping her wrist with careful attention to her pseudo injury. She even winces when she grazes over the area that is _supposed_ to be hurt.

"It's _nothing_ ," Mikasa mumbles obstinately.

"Did I hurt you?" Levi inquests, poorly disguising the urgency in his voice.

"I'm fine."

With a small amount of moral depravity, I walk forward and quietly gasp, "Mikasa, your wrist is swelling!"

Levi's eyes widen. "Is it?"

"It is! I think you may have sprained it!" I exclaim.

"Let me see it," Levi demands, promptly standing up and walking over to Mikasa's side of the table. He bends over to get a better angle of her falsified injury.

With a bit of hesitation, Mikasa allows Levi inspect the spuriously injured area on her wrist. We anxiously glance at one another, both in the realization that I probably should have put a bit more thought into this shoddy plan. It doesn't help when Levi's breath occasionally halts as if he found something unexpected or undesired.

Even if plan does fail, I think there might be a silver lining in all of this, at least for me. That silver lining is, while watching Levi carefully handle Mikasa's wrist, I get to see an attentive elder sibling-an attentive elder sibling that Levi himself is still trying to renounce. I don't know what type of person Levi was, but being that he is more than capable of hospitality, I would like to get to know who he is now. If what he says about himself is true, then I would expect there to be a bit of baggage from whatever life he may have lived in the past, but I'm okay with that. I just don't know if _he_ is.

"I see something," Levi quietly admits, straightening himself with an earnest sigh. He looks... _upset_?

Both Mikasa and I simultaneously blink. "You do?" I ask.

"I do."

I clear my throat. "T-The swelling, right?"

"No," Levi shakes his head. "I see something else." Astonishingly, he then puts his hand gently on Mikasa's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry, Mikasa," he atones, bowing his head. "I really am."

Mikasa's eyes widen slightly as she looks up from her sitting position towards her older brother. "It's alright, Levi. I'm really-"

"-I'm sorry that I have to see such a _shitty_ excuse for a liar. You too, Armin." He then turns to me, crossing his arms with a very frightening glare. "Did you really think I couldn't hear you whispering?"

I fluster, eyes quickly becoming glued to the floor. "Um... you know, I had my doubts."

"If you would just let us eat on your _stupid_ couch," Mikasa immediately interjects, "then we wouldn't have tried it!" When I look up, I see Mikasa with reddening cheeks glaring at her brother. I don't know if her cheeks are reddening from embarrassment or anger, but it's a pretty cute sight.

Levi shakes his head. " _Idiots,_ " he mutters.

Unsurprisingly, Mikasa and I would find ourselves eating at the table. Levi watched us at first when we microwaved our food to ascertain that we wouldn't go back on our word, but he would soon depart and lock himself away in his room once we were situated. Mikasa didn't talk much while we ate, and if I'm being honest, I think she may have been a little bit angry at me for creating such a half-baked plan. She kept taking these giant bites and chewed her food in a very menacing way. I could even hear her teeth chomp together a few times.

We are now making the transition to the couch, and I don't know what movie we're going to watch, but I feel kind of sleepy. I think it must be because of everything that happened last night, this morning, and perhaps even what is happening right now. I'm obviously glad that all of this has happened and is happening, but your brain eats up a lot of your energy when you make it process so much information within the span of twenty-four hours.

"What do you want to watch?" Mikasa asks me, sitting on the other end of the couch.

I give an exhausted shrug. "I'm not sure," I yawn. "Is there anything you had in mind?"

"Not really," Mikasa replies, picking up the remote. "I guess we can look around and see if we find anything."

Mikasa browses through the options that are available On Demand, and I think both of us, without announcing it, realize that all of the movies look kind of terrible. When Mikasa makes the cursor run over the "Adult" section of On Demand (she has to in order to get to the other section), I can't help but blush. I don't know if that's childish of me, but I had this experience when I was really young where I accidentally entered the "Adult" section, found something about the beach, and it resulted in my grandpa having to explain a lot of things that I wasn't ready to have explained to me. I just wanted to see seashells, but I ended up seeing... _things_ that weren'tseashells. My grandpa then spent the next day learning from some man over the phone on how to put child-locks on certain channels.

"I've got an idea," Mikasa abruptly announces, making her way to her feet.

I watch as she makes her way to the end-table that is also being employed as their television stand. She opens its drawers, and after a bit of rummaging, she pulls out a purple cubical.

"You _still_ have that?" I ask in disbelief.

She nods, disentangling the console and controller cords from one another. She then pulls out a couple video game cases, tossing them on the coffee table in front of me.

"Choose which one you want to play while I set this up," she says.

 _Mario Kart: Double Dash. Super Smash Bros. Melee. The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. Resident Evil 4. Super Mario Sunshine. Paper Mario: The Thousand Years Door. Soulcalibur II._ There's so much nostalgia on one table that I think I'm going to cry. Everything is just as I remember it, too. I even see the chip in the game case of _Soulcalibur II_ from when Eren got angry after losing to _Inferno_ and threw the case across the room. And on the case of _Resident Evil 4_ is an evil mustache that I drew on _Leon_ out of jealousy because a young Mikasa acknowledged that he was an attractive and brave video game protagonist. Oh no, this is bad. I'm actually crying. A lot, too. Mikasa does a double take at me when she notices.

"Are you okay?" she asks. This doesn't help because she says it in that instinctive, maternal voice that she always did when we were younger. I feel like I'm entering a nostalgic paralysis.

"I'm fine," I sniffle, laughing a little bit. "It's a good cry, not a bad one."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," I confirm, smiling.

Mikasa goes back to setting up the console, plugging the power cord into a nearby outlet on the wall. She occasionally glances back at me to make sure I'm okay. I wipe my eyes, already knowing which game I want to play.

"L-Let's play _Mario Kart_ ," I say.

Mikasa doesn't look back at me, but I know she is smirking. "You don't want to play _Resident Evil_?" she asks teasingly. "How come?"

She doesn't ask me this because of my still-lingering jealousy of Leon. Neither Eren nor Mikasa had any idea that it was I, the eight year old saboteur that I was, whom desecrated the facial congruity of Leon. She asks me this because, even though it was Eren who begged Grisha to buy him _Resident Evil 4_ (Carla would never have allowed it), Mikasa was the only person that was courageous enough to actually play the game. We always would watch her play it at night, too, meaning the room was completely dark other than that of Eren's small television displaying horrifying chainsaw wielding men. Also, when I first saw a chainsaw man break down a door, I quite literally peed my pants. Mikasa, even as a kid, always found that really funny. I've never seen her laugh so much.

"Do you _want_ me to pee all over Levi's couch?" I warn.

"No," she stifles her laughter. "I would really prefer if you didn't."

Mikasa puts _Mario_ Kart into the console, handing me a controller thereafter. As I see that familiar GameCube intro of that little purple cube drawing the letter G, I feel oddly peaceful. When I press the buttons on the controller to regain some familiarity as to their locations and respective functions, I notice that the controller kind of feels _greasy._

"I think my controller is still greasy from all those times Eren would eat pizza rolls while playing," I murmur.

Do you ever have something that you say, but as you're saying it, you realize that you probably shouldn't say it even though you've already committed to saying it? That's kind of what just happened with what I said. Mikasa's smile slowly turns into a frown, and even though it would have been hard to play the GameCube without acknowledging Eren's departed presence, I still don't want to upset Mikasa.

"I'm sorry," I apologize.

"For what?" Mikasa asks, looking at me.

"For bringing him up."

"Armin," she sighs. "It's not as if you're not allowed to talk about Eren. It would be worse for me knowing that everybody around me was afraid to bring up Eren due to the risk of offending me. That's not how you celebrate someone's existence." Mikasa pauses. "You should look back and consider why it is their life mattered to you, but you can't do that if you just keep trying to the ignore reality of them being dead. It's not as if you're saying something I don't already know, Armin; I know that Eren's dead each morning when I wake up to an empty bed, and I know that he's dead each night when I go to sleep without him."

I don't reply because I honestly can't think of anything to say. As we make our choices at the character select screen, I have a tough time focusing on the game and enjoying it. There's something I want to ask Mikasa, but I don't know if I should.

"Can I ask you something?" I inquire while choosing _Luigi._

 _"_ What is it?" Mikasa chooses _Bowser_.

"Out of all people," I begin, "why did you choose me last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"Last night, when you came to my apartment to talk with me, why didn't you choose someone else?"

Mikasa remains quiet for a moment, and the only thing that can be heard is the sound of buttons being pressed. "I'm not a very sociable person, Armin. I never had any friends besides Eren and you. There _was_ no one else."

As the cartooned engines rev in preparation of the race starting, I feel like somebody punched me in the gut because of what Mikasa just said. Lakitu lowers the traffic light.

"Did you not want me to come over?" she then asks.

"No, no, no," I answer frantically, "I just... I was just surprised that you still thought of me is all." The race starts once the light turns green, and while Mikasa quickly enters the lead, I gradually drop to eighth place as my mind wanders. "If I'm being honest, Mikasa, my life is a total mess right now. So much wrong has happened within the span of five years that it's hard to keep up with it all. I'm not saying this in hopes to receive pity, but I'm saying it because when you came to my door last night, I honestly thought I was dreaming. Like I said earlier, I was very happy, but I was also in disbelief because there has been so much bad that has happened recently that I couldn't believe that there was something good for once.

"I know that you're curious about what's happening with my life, so I will explain." I take a deep breath. "Presently, I'm working a dead-end job while gradually blowing through the will my grandfather left me when he died. The money I make from my job helps conserve the will somewhat, but I'm only making minimum wage. My cousins, aunts, and uncles all despise me not only because my grandfather left me the majority of his will due to the loss of my parents, but also because they recently found out I've done nothing with it other than waste it. I don't really know why they would choose to hate a sixteen year old with no say over the matter, but money does bad things to people you thought that you cared for."

As I race by the corpses of computer racers that Mikasa assaulted with shells, I then proclaim, "There's something else that I don't think you know about, Mikasa, but I don't know if I should tell you it because I'm worried it might upset you. "

"What is it?" Mikasa instantaneously inquires.

"I don't know, Mikasa..."

"Tell me," she demands in a stern voice.

I'm in fifth place now. "You remember how I said there was multiple reasons why Eren and I drifted apart?"

"Yes."

"I can tell you one of the reasons if you really would like to know."

"I would."

I sigh. "When my grandfather died, and when I was told that a foster home would soon be found for me, I asked Eren if I could live with you guys because I was honestly pretty afraid of going to a home filled with people I don't know. Since I was sixteen at the time, I asked him if we could ask his parents about it, and that I would understand if they declined. I told him that I would be out when I was eighteen because I would go to live on a campus, and even if that didn't work out for whatever reason, I had enough in the will to cover an apartment's rent for foreseeable future once I turned eighteen," I explain. "To put it simply, I would be gone on the day of my eighteenth birthday. I also told him that I would like all of us to be friends again if you guys were both willing."

I don't know when this started, but I'm back in last place because I'm accelerating straight into a wall. I straighten my kart. "Eren told me that he would love if I could come live with all of you, but then he told something... _unexpected._ " I set the controller down at this point because I honestly can't focus. Mikasa pauses the game. I start staring at the exceptionally clean coffee table. "Eren said that Carla, Grisha, and you, Mikasa, very much disliked me. He said the only reason that you all tolerated me was because I was his friend. He then said approaching his parents was a bad idea because they would probably say yes, but that would be only because they pitied my situation. He said that they weren't going to be honest with what they really wanted, and that if I moved in, it would create a toxic environment for everybody.

"I assumed he was lying since I had no recollection of any of you giving me dirty looks, but I was so confused, tired, and sad that I didn't even try to argue with him about why you all had this newfound disliking of me. With that being said, after this conversation I bounced around a couple foster homes before turning eighteen, and once November 3rd hit, I moved into the same apartment that you saw last night. I have been living there by myself for four years, and..." I nervously trail off. "What is it, Mikasa?"

The reason I ask this is because there is an unfamiliar expression on Mikasa's face-an undeniable expression of _guilt_. Seeing this expression of her face after what I just said scares the hell out of me. She starts staring into her lap as her hands rest idly on her knees.

"There are some things I need to tell you, Armin."

* * *

 ** _Hello all,_**

 ** _I'm not sure how happy I am with this chapter, but it's the catalyst for a bunch of character development with pretty much all of the characters. One of my main goals with this story is to show how nobody in life is perfect, how we all at one point in our lives have hurt somebody, and how we move on from these regrets. The mystery surrounding Eren's actions will begin to unravel, a certain side of Mikasa will be revealed, and Armin will meet up with some old friends and enemies. I hope the pacing and progression isn't too fast, but I am also busy with other projects in life so I want to keep this story moving in hindsight of potentially becoming busier and what not. Thank you all for reading this. I appreciate your continued support. :)_**

 ** _\- Arreku97_**


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